Eternity Lost
by DreamNin
Summary: For Bella, life is like a dream now. She has everything she's ever wanted and soon she'll be with the man she loves for all eternity. She can hardly believe it. But all dreams, no matter how perfect, must eventually come to an end.
1. Prologue: Promise

Disclaimer: I DO own Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse... unfortunately they are but copies of the masterpiece written by Stephenie Meyer... aww...

Guess what? I'm not dead! I've just been soo unbelievably busy, but with Breaking Dawn coming out I've been re-inspired to continue writing. I've had this done for months, but eh...

**Eternity Lost**

Prologue: Promise

_This just had to be a dream. _

_There was just no way that this could be real. _

_That this beautiful, wonderful man could love me? Want me? _

_I couldn't believe it._

_But then again, I didn't have to._

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife."_

_I could feel the intensity of his love as he stared at me with his burning, topaz eyes._

_I smiled brightly as my eyes filled with tears._

"_You may now kiss the bride."_

_My angel wiped away the tears threatening to spill over with his thumb causing me to laugh softly at my own silliness._

_Then he leaned down and kissed me- his promise to love me forever._

_I kissed back with everything I had- my promise to love him forever._

_It was perfect…_

…_even if that day would never come._

_--_

A/N- Okay, I know how bad that last part sounds. But trust me, it's not what you think. But you'll just have to keep reading to find out what that last part really means…

This is my first Twilight fanfic, so please review and tell me what you think! Or you could wait to read the first chapter as this is after all, only a prologue…


	2. Blackout

Eternity Lost

**Eternity Lost**

Chapter 1: Blackout (Bella POV)

"What are you smiling about love?"

I opened my eyes to see Edward looking down at me with a look of amusement on his angelic face.

Apparently I had been spacing out… again. That seemed to be happening a lot these past few days, especially with everything that had been going on.

Propping myself up on my elbow, I smiled at Edward, who had been lying next to me as I daydreamed on his bed. Well, _our_ bed now I guess.

Tapping him on the nose, I whispered "You."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile and I laughed.

"Were you really surprised?" I asked. I mean it's not like I didn't think about him constantly.

"Well, no… not really. But it's still nice to hear you say it anyway," he responded, kissing my forehead.

Lying back to face the ceiling, I closed my eyes again and sighed blissfully.

"We're getting married tomorrow," I said more to myself than to Edward, not like he wouldn't have heard me anyway, but still…

He chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him.

"Glad you've finally noticed."

I opened my eyes again just so I could roll them at him.

"Haha, very funny Edward. You know just because I woke up this morning and didn't know where I was doesn't mean I forgot about our wedding too. I just meant it seems so… surreal. You know?" I asked him truly wondering if I was the only one who couldn't believe I could be so lucky, especially considering my normal amount of luck- tripping over my own feet, killer vampires with mates bent on revenge, werewolves… Good things just don't normally happen to me.

"Yes, it does all seem rather surreal. But I'm glad. I think that if it seemed normal, something would be bound to happen to make it supernatural. That's just your luck isn't it?" he teased me. I could almost feel him smirking.

"Hey mister, there's still time to call this whole wedding thing off you know…" I teased back almost laughing at the prospect. There was no way I would ever do that to him or to myself. The idea itself was just ridiculous.

However, I felt him tense up beside me, which was saying a lot when your body's made of granite. I turned to look at him, wondering what made him do that.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" he asked so softly I barely heard him.

Turning to face him completely, I looked at him like he had just told me he was actually a girl or something.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want to! There's nothing I want more in the entire world… well, except… you know," I blushed, effectively ruining any chance I had of convincing him. Stupid traitorous human body… Well at least he was smiling again right?

"I know you agreed to marry me, but before you were so against it. And although I'm glad you did, may I ask what caused you to change your mind? You seem so happy about it now," he asked with a mixture of sadness and curiosity in his voice.

For his sake, I fought not to burst out laughing. That wouldn't have gone over well as he was still clearly unsure about whether this is what I really wanted.

Tearing my eyes away from his beautiful face to stare wistfully at the ceiling again, I thought about it. Why was I so excited now? When he had first asked, I had been horrified. But why? I loved Edward with all my heart and was willing to give up my life for him. So why wouldn't I want to be bound to him in holy matrimony? Because of Charlie and Renee that's why. They had married young and look what happened. I knew that would never happen to Edward and me though because we couldn't live without each other, that much became clear last year when…

But Renee had always made it seem like getting married young was the worst possible mistake someone could make when I was growing up, but I was old enough to know now that that's not the case. Not with Edward and I. And Charlie had never quite forgiven Edward either… But that was all in the past right. And Edward was my future. The only future I could ever want.

I sighed and said, "My parents."

He quirked an eyebrow in question.

I smiled at my forgetfulness. It's not like he could read my mind. I'd have to explain all that mess that just went on in my head. Taking a deep breath, I began.

"Well, before when you asked, I wanted to, really I did, but I guess I was just sort of afraid of what my parents would say, would think even. They were married young and probably thought the same thing that happened to them would happen to us. I know it won't, but I guess I just didn't want to upset them. But you know, I'm glad you convinced me to do what I wanted for once instead of always doing what my parents wanted. I'm really happy now," I finished smiling up at his beaming face.

"I think I understand now. Good thing too. With our wedding being tomorrow, I was beginning to think that you were only marrying me for the sex," he said smirking.

I laughed and hit him with one of the pillows resting against the headboard.

"It sounds so bad when you say it that way!" I cried still laughing. When I had finally calmed down enough to breathe somewhat normally, I spoke again.

"You know, Charlie took it a lot better than I thought he would, given the circumstances."

"Yes, he did. Although you could have given the poor man a little time to breathe before springing the fact that you're moving in with me as well on him," Edward said pointedly.

I cringed a little bit at the memory.

"Yeah, now that I think about it that might not have been the best time to tell him, but I was afraid that I might lose my nerve if I didn't tell him right then and there. I guess I thought that maybe in the wake of the wedding news, he wouldn't take it so badly," I offered in way of explanation.

"Badly? Is that what you call it? The man passed out before I could even get a read on his thoughts, they were so scrambled. I think it might have been a little too much for him to handle all at once," Edward laughed, the most beautiful sound in the world to me, even if it was at my father's expense.

"Yeah I guess you're right. But even so, he took it really well considering you're not exactly his favorite person in the world."

"Isn't that the understatement of the century? But do you want to know what he was thinking? Before he passed out that is?" Edward asked, already knowing that I did.

I smiled as I remembered Edward carrying my father bridal-style over to the couch after his little mishap. I swear it had to be one of the funniest things I had ever seen, even given the reason as to why my father had passed out in the first place. I sat up and nodded in response to Edward's question as he knew I would.

"Well, you know better than anyone that Charlie never quite got over your mother. When she left, she didn't give him a choice. She just took you and went. So when you decided to come back to Forks to live with him, he felt as though he had been given back a little bit of what he'd lost. Like you had given him a second chance at making things right. When you told him that we would be getting married, he realized that this was it. If he wanted to keep you in his life he would have to make a choice. And he chose not to lose you," Edward finished softly.

By this time I had tears streaming silently down my cheeks. I hadn't meant to cry, but when Edward explained just how hard this all was on Charlie, I couldn't help it. I loved my father even more for not only accepting my choice, even though he didn't agree with it, but for wanting to keep me in his life despite it.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," Edward murmured into my hair as he held me, stroking my hair and comforting me as he had always done.

I breathed in huge gulps of air filled with his scent and automatically began to calm. His presence always had that effect on me. He could make my heart flutter with a glance, my eyes tear with his words and my breathing calm with his scent. And I smiled, because I knew he always would.

--

When I woke the next morning, I immediately realized something was wrong. Something was missing.

Edward.

I sat up in bed and looked around. It was then that I noticed a folded piece of paper on the pillow. A letter from Edward.

_My Dearest Bella,_

_As much as I wished I could be there when you awoke, our resident psychic and wedding-planner has insisted on keeping to tradition. I believe her exact words were 'Edward Cullen, if you sneak even a glimpse of her before the wedding you'll ruin everything! And if that happens, I'll ruin you!' Though I am sorry for that, apparently I absolutely __**cannot**__ see you until the wedding. But know that today, I will be thinking only of you. I can't wait as I'm sure you will look even more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Until then my love._

_-Love Edward_

My heart jumped upon reading the word 'wedding'. Oh god, I was getting married today! I sat there in shock for a second before a smile slowly began to spread across my face. I was getting married today!

I sat there with a silly smile on my face for a moment, just letting the realization sink in. Folding up Edward's letter, something on the back caught my eye. Turning it over I saw that there was another note written on the back.

_Bella, I know you have a lot to think about today, but don't worry I'll take care of everything. Though I wanted to start fixing you up the second you woke up, Edward made me promise to let you sleep for as long as possible. Well, in that case I'll just have to settle with meeting you downstairs. I've already set out your outfit for today in the bathroom. It's your big day, but just relax and everything will turn out just fine. Oh! But don't forget to write your vows as I know you haven't yet. I'll know if you don't! Love you sis!_

_ -Alice_

I smiled at my soon-to-be sister's enthusiasm although I wasn't quite sure if she knew just how threatening that last part was. Sighing at both the fact that I still hadn't written my vows yet and the fact that I had to get up now, I swung my feet over the side of the bed and made my way to the bathroom.

I stayed in the shower for as long as possible, trying to delay the inevitable clash with the pixie-like force to be reckoned with waiting for me downstairs, but eventually the lack of hot water forced me from my little hide-out.

I dried off and slipped on the clothes Alice had picked out for me, which were thankfully relatively normal. Somehow I think Edward might've been responsible for that. But knowing Alice, the primping and prodding would come later. Drying my hair out with a small towel, I wandered off downstairs.

I had hardly set foot on the downstairs landing before I was tackled by a black blur of enthusiasm.

"What the-? Alice!" I choked, being crushed as I was.

"Alice dear, I think Bella needs to breathe," a warm voice said from the direction of the kitchen.

Oh thank god. Sometimes Esme was such a saint.

"Wha-? Oh! Sorry Bella," Alice apologized, "I'm just so excited! You're getting married today! Oh there's so much to do. Hurry we have to start right now! We're already behind schedule!"

She tried dragging me off, probably to some beauty torture chamber she had set up in her room, where Rosalie was undoubtedly waiting, acetone and filer at the ready. The blonde bombshell had been trying to get me to let her fix my horrible nail-beds for ages now.

"Alice, why don't we let Bella have some breakfast first? It's only 9 o'clock. There will be plenty of time to get her ready. Plus she'll need her strength today," Esme suggested stepping out of the kitchen, consequently sparing me for the second time in only so many minutes today.

"Aww, but I need to do her hair now to give it time to set! She can eat later!" Alice whined, still trying to pull me up the stairs.

"Now Alice darling, you know your brother will be very upset if you don't take good care of Bella while he's gone," Esme persisted.

"Yeah, but Edward's always upset about something or other when it comes to Bella. Like just last week when Emmett tried to see if he could throw Bella across the yard and catch her before she hit the ground. Edward threatened Emmett's manhood after that," Alice quipped, clearly not getting it.

I blushed at the memory of that. Emmett had only said 'Hey Bells, you wanna help me with this project I'm working on?' I didn't know I'd end up as a human football.

Esme's eyes went wide and then narrowed slowly, and although I'd never had a reason to fear Esme before, I was scared of her now. Alice's eyes turned white as she went still for a moment then suddenly she giggled.

Uh Oh. I knew that giggle. It was the giggle of unavoidable and imminent future peril for anyone involved, and unfortunately for Emmett, he was. Apparently Emmett was really in for it now. What Edward had done to him was probably nothing compared to what Esme was going to do.

Speaking of Edward…

"Where is he?" I asked not even bothering to specify who exactly I was talking about. I'm sure they knew anyway.

"Oh Emmett and Jazz took him hunting. I think they're trying to keep him from thinking too much 'cause this morning Edward was really putting poor Jazz through the ringer. He was nervous, excited, anxious, happy and scared all at the same time."

I smiled at that as I remembered those had been my exact feelings this morning as well. I followed Esme into the kitchen where she had a gorgeous spread of pancakes, eggs, sausage, toast and fruit all set up for me. I looked at her incredulously. I could never finish all that!

My stomach chose that moment to growl loudly. I blushed again. Well not with Alice hovering around me anyway…

"Eat now dear. I'll keep this one at busy," Esme said motioning at Alice who was practically vibrating where she stood; she was so impatient for me to be done.

"Thanks Esme, for everything," I said as politely as I could so she could remember me as I was now and not the embarrassing, sloppy, fat girl I was about to become.

"Any time, dear," she responded before whisking Alice, still protesting, out the room.

I laughed, but it was cut short by another loud reminder from my stomach.

So about those pancakes…

--

I was just swallowing the last of my breakfast, when I was suddenly being dragged by the arm out of the kitchen.

"Whoa! Alice, slow down! Can't I at least put the dishes away?" I tried, even though we both knew I was just stalling.

I felt a gust of wind past my face and a temporary release in pressure on my arm before she was standing before me again.

"Ok dishes done. Now let's get going!" Alice piped, nearly carrying me up the stairs at this point.

I just had to laugh. I swear, if I hadn't been so familiar with Alice's normal behavior, I would have thought she was being even more impatient than normal. Vaguely I wondered what Alice had done with Esme…

As though hearing my thoughts, Alice said, "Esme's just out back setting up. You just don't realize how important it is that every flower complements every banner that also has to complement everything else as well!"

I almost laughed as I'm sure that Alice was the only one concerned with such things. Everyone else in the right mind was probably more concerned with the actual wedding not to mention the bride and groom. But since when has Alice ever been in the right mind?

Upon finally reaching Alice's room, where as I thought, Rosalie was busy setting up what looked to be a full-on spa, I groaned. What ever happened to simplicity?

Casting a sideways glance at me, Rosalie mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'And we only have eight hours to fix that? Are they expecting some kind of miracle?'

Alice barely suppressed a smile as she plopped me down into the chair in front of the large, vanity mirror. Looking down, I saw that the chair had thick, leather straps attached to both armrests and footrest.

My eyes went wide and immediately I tried to get up, but curse those evil, evil girls with vampire speed! I was strapped down and locked in before I could even blink.

"Oh come on now Bella. It won't be that bad!" Alice said grinning.

"Oh really?" I countered, "Then what are these straps for?"

"Oh just a little precaution. You know, in case you start to get… difficult," Alice said casually with a dismissive wave of her hand.

I nearly gagged. Oh my god! I was going to die here!

Just as my torture was scheduled to begin, Alice froze up for a few moments.

"Shoot! Well that complicates things," she said when she was done.

"What's wrong?" I asked, grateful for any sort of distraction from my inevitable 'beautification' as Alice called it.

"Renee's flight has been cancelled from her layover in Portland. Some stupid weather problems, so now she's stuck there."

"Well can't she get a cab or something to bring her up her?" I asked seriously worried that I would have to have my wedding without my mom.

"She could, but it would take so long to drive that she'd miss the wedding!"

"So what are we going to do?" Rosalie asked cutting right to the chase.

Alice glanced at her sleek, designer Rolex watch, and then she closed her eyes as her face scrunched up as if she was thinking really hard.

Rosalie and I just sat there while Alice checked to see if her plan would work. After a moment though, her eyes popped back open and she exclaimed, "Ok here's what we'll do. I will go down to Portland to pick up Renee. Bella, you'll call Charlie and tell him that everything's under control because Renee already called him and now he's freaking out, and Rose, you will help Esme prepare everything else for the wedding so that when I get back, the only thing left to do is Bella. Ok, everyone got it?"

Rosalie and I just nodded dumbly in the wake of her excited briefing.

"Alright, I will be back in four hours. While I'm gone, I expect you to finish your vows Bella, because it simply will not do to have you just wing it up there. Trust me, it will not be pretty if you don't prepare. Ready, set, go!" She squealed and streaked out of the room.

There was silence in the room as I just sat there trying not to think about just how fast Alice would have to be going to turn a ten hour trip into a four hour trip when suddenly Rosalie turned to me holding up two small bottles of nail polish.

"So which color do you think would look better on me?"

--

I lay on my stomach on the golden-covered bed, pen and pad at hand, trying to do the impossible. Even at my best, I wasn't much of a writer, so to be told I had to write my own vows made me want to cry. There was just no way that I could conceivably write down everything Edward meant to me. No words currently in existence could adequately describe everything that Edward was to me and I didn't think there ever would be.

While I might've been able to express myself better had he been in the room with me, I knew Alice would never allow it. So how could I have him with me without breaking Alice's self-imposed rules? Talking on the phone was out because I knew the second I heard his melodic voice I would break down and want him there with me right that second and Edward, being Edward, would comply, tradition be damned.

I was twirling the pen around in my hand absently, still thinking of possible loopholes, when a light caught my eye. I stopped to look at the tiny, blinding lights being cast onto the wall wondering what they were before realizing that it was my metal pen catching and reflecting the sunlight streaming in from the glass wall. As I twirled my pen and watched the multi-colored lights flicker everywhere as if being cast off of a diamond, I suddenly had an idea.

I knew where I had to be.

--

An hour and a half later found me curled up on a blanket in the middle of our meadow, the sun warming my back. I'm sure that if Edward had been with me, I would've been here in half that time, but as he was not, I got kind of lost so it took me a little while to find it. Regardless, I was here now and that's all that mattered.

I felt happier here, and even though it was nothing compared to how I felt when Edward was here with me, it was still better than anywhere else on the planet, well, with the exception of Edward's side.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I should write. After a while, the page was still blank, but I was doing a little better with my thoughts. But still no words would come to me. Not even saying he was my entire life could do what I felt for him justice, because he was so much more than just my life. He was my everything. Everything I had ever wanted and more. Everything in my past was empty without him. Everything in my present was perfect when I was with him and everything in my future was brighter because of him. He was the reason for my existence and I wouldn't have it any other way. I loved him. Forever and always.

I opened my eyes and almost laughed at myself. About damn time those words showed up! Now all I had to do was write them down…

After reading, re-reading and re-re-reading it over, I was finally satisfied with it. And though I doubted it would be nearly as eloquent as Edward's, it was the best I could do. Besides, that guy has a serious way with words. Some of the things he says daily puts even the most accomplished poets to shame.

I laughed at the thought and lay back to just rest for a bit. I still had some time left before I had to start heading back home. No, not just home- our home. I sighed happily at that. It just sounded so right. I closed my eyes once again and let my thoughts wander to Edward. I thought about the first time I saw him, the first time he spoke to me, and the first time he told me he loved me. I smiled knowing that after tonight, I would also be able to add the first time he said 'I do' to that list. I sighed blissfully and let the warmth comfort me.

--

I shivered and opened my eyes blearily. At first I thought my eyes were still closed because I couldn't see anything, but then I realized it was just because the sun had already started to go down.

Oh my god! The sun was going down!

I jumped up, panicking and grabbed my phone to check the time only to find out that it had died sometime while I was asleep.

"Shit!" I screamed, frantically gathering up my stuff and throwing them into the bag. Now I usually didn't curse, but my frazzled mind could hardly think of anything more appropriate. The wedding was scheduled to be at twilight and I was missing it!

I ran back to my truck, surprisingly not tripping in my haste, and jumped in. I started it with a deafening roar and gunned down the road as fast as my poor truck could go.

"Oh God… Oh God…," I kept repeating over and over again, angry tears blurring my vision. What the hell was I thinking? Taking a nap when I was supposed to be getting ready… And poor Alice must have called at least a thousand times, I was sure of it. Charlie and Renee were probably waiting for me and Edward… Oh god Edward! He must be thinking that I ditched him! Like a runaway bride, I just left him there all alone at the altar. My poor Edward! My-

Suddenly my headlights caught the eyes of a large deer standing in the middle of the road. At the speed I was going, I couldn't stop! Without thinking, I jerked the steering wheel to the right and sent my truck careening off the side of the road.

I screamed as the truck flipped over and continued rolling down the hill. I tried to brace myself to minimize any impact, but I was bouncing all over the place. I hit my head on the windshield at some point during the fall and could barely even feel the pain. With a final sickening crunch, my truck stopped rolling as it crashed into a sturdy tree.

I just sat there panting heavily for a while before I realized that I was bleeding. A searing pain emanated from a spot on my head. I raised my hand up to feel something warm and sticky seeping through my hair.

Feeling sick to my stomach from a combination of the spinning and the blood oozing from my head, I kicked what was left of the door open and fell out of the cab. Coughing and whimpering, I tried to call for help, but my voice just wouldn't come. I felt a sharp pain every time I took a breath and vaguely took note that my shirt was soaked with that nauseating, rust-smelling liquid I hated so much.

I crawled on my hands and knees, trying to make it back to the road, but my right arm wasn't cooperating. It was probably broken. Pitifully, I collapsed on my side, where I curled up and prayed that the pain would stop.

As I lay there, all I could think of was Edward. My Edward. All alone. Not knowing where I was or if I was even coming. I knew he would blame himself. He always found a way to twist things around to take the blame off of me. He was just so kind that way. I had always told him he had a soul, and the way that he cared for me, loved me, proved not only that he did indeed have one, but that it was a gentle and loving one at that.

Hot tears began streaming down my cheeks, unseen in the darkness, as I thought of how he must be feeling now. How could I be so cruel? To hurt such a beautiful, kind, wonderful angel as Edward? And he thought that he was the monster…

My breathing started to get shallow and what little vision I did have began to blur. I was trying to stay conscious, but my body couldn't hold on any longer.

"Edward…" I whispered, hoping against reason that somewhere, somehow, he would hear me. The last thing I remember thinking was _'I'm sorry'._

And then everything went black.

--

A/N- Phew! That was longer than I thought it'd be.

So I know it's kinda slow at the beginning, but I hope I picked it up at the end. If you have any questions about anything that happened, including the one everyone's thinking 'why didn't Alice see this coming?', don't worry, all will be explain if not in the next chapter, then the one after that.

The next chapter is from Edward's POV which I've never done before, but I guess since this is my first Twilight fanfic, I've never done anyone else's either… But I hope they were believable enough.

So please review because you know we love it! (We being writers in general, not me referring to myself as multiple people. I'm not that crazy… yet.)


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